Submerged

My chest tightens,

 a sure sign of my anxiety manifesting itself once more.

The familiar thoughts begin to infiltrate every corner of my brain like flood water

There is no escape from them; no escape for myself.

It’s ALL  your fault, you know.     

the cold waves crash upon my feet;

If only you had tried a little harder…been a little better.           

knee-deep in it now;

You should have trusted your instincts. Why didn’t you listen?

water choking me;

You’re alone and it’s all on you. How could you be so naïve? Why would you…?      

the current throws me around

Cry, scream, flail, there is no way out. You’re stuck here - drowning and fighting and screaming.

Alone.

You FAILURE.

And I float away.